The Power of Self-Care After a Breakup
For the girls who feel called to start proper self-care after a breakup, but don’t necessarily know where to start.
As a conscious breakup coach and certified breathwork teacher (and certified yoga teacher) I want you to adopt a quality self-care practice that honors the level of compassion you deserve and the pain that you’ve been through.
Self-care is still a really elusive term used these days despite all the information out there. It seems like it’s just going to yoga or sitting on the couch instead of going out.
But in this blog, I’m going to share with you what I know will actually be transformative self-care during your breakup, and how you can apply it to your specific life for your best healing.
1.Asking yourself what you actually need every day, every moment.
Self-care is a compassionate approach to care of yourself, so when you’re in the emotional rollercoaster after a tough breakup, it’s the time to reconnect with yourself and ask yourself what you really need to feel better.
Let’s put this into practice.
Maybe you just finished work and suddenly feel lonely, sad, and empty.
Instead of reaching for your phone by default to scroll for 3 hours until you hardcore numb yourself and realize it’s time to go to bed, you can actually acknowledge that you’re feeling lonely, sad and empty and ask yourself “what would make me feel better right now?”
The answer can and will be different each time you ask yourself this when you feel a “difficult” emotion.
You get to answer that question when you actually ask yourself the question and get out of that automatic response of reaching for your phone.
The more you develop that inner dialogue with yourself, the more you’ll be able to care for yourself.
2.Tending to your nervous system
By the time you’re done your day going through a challenging breakup, you’ve likely felt fight, flight and freeze all on the same time.
Stuck in the scroll = freeze.
Constantly texting your friends to avoid feeling lonely = Flight
Constantly ruminating with anger = Fight
Breakups are such a full-body experience and most of the time we live in the mind, overanalyzing and dissecting all activity, like their IG story, them not texting you back, them texting you back.
Constantly being stimulated.
No real space to actually feel clarity.
It’s important to move the energy through your body, through a body practice that feels good for you and supports your nervous system
Ask yourself (remember the first thing I mentioned) what would feel good for you?
If you’re very flighty, you might try a quick meditation for stillness. (Check out my Breathe Through your Breakup 21-Day Meditation Journey.)
If you’re in freeze, you might try movement, like yoga, pilates, or dancing around your home, shaking up stagnant energy.
Give yourself permission to explore.
It could be 5 minutes of yoga. That’s still yoga and a beautiful way to care for yourself.
It could be 2 minutes of meditation or just conscious breathing.
I always tell my clients: a practice you can do daily thats just 2-5 minutes a day can and will be life-changing.
When I started doing breathwork and yoga, I started with 2 minutes because that’s all I had capacity to do. My practice slowly built. Now I’m able to do more, and some days I still do 2 minutes while I wait in line for a coffee.
3.Have something to look forward to daily
Because breakups make you feel like you have nothing to look forward to anymore (I’ve heard this more times than I can count), you need to create something to look forward to daily.
A little ritual of sorts.
Because sometimes breakups are not about thriving, they are about survival.
It’s an extremely compassionate approach to healing during your breakup when you can gift yourself something to look forward to,=.
A tiny piece of chocolate at 5pm after work.
A new TV series where you watch one episode daily.
Having a bath and lighting a candle.
Not all self-care is the same. It’s what feels right for you.
I actually made a 30-day self-care challenge to pour into you after your breakup for those who want to heal through self-care. It’s just 5 minutes a day to gift yourself self-care and something to look forward to daily without all the searching. Just a conscious breakup coach dropping into your inbox every morning with a new journaling prompt, lesson, meditation or breathwork exercise. More details here.
In 2022, I created a 14-day heartbreak email series to help women who were really struggling with ruminating, trusting the process, accepting their breakups, and wanted something they could rely on daily to read and be an anchor to look forward to. I curated 14 messages based on hundreds of coaching calls that would serve as “omg how did you know I was thinking this??!” moments. See the full description here.
Having something to look forward to daily, something that aligns and resonates for you, is a beautiful act of compassion and care for yourself.
-
I hope you can see that self-care is actually about reconnecting with yourself and opening up that dialogue with your inner self as much as it is something you do daily.
If you’re looking to start a compassionate, approachable and heartbreak-centred meditation practice (with little or no mediation experience) start my Breathe Through Your Breakup program HERE
If you’re looking for a self-care specific program, you’ll love my 30-day self-care challenge.
If you’re looking for a daily email to support you on the emotional rollercoaster, check out my Getting Through This 14-day email series.
Hi, I’m Nancy!
A conscious breakup coach, certified breathwork teacher, wife, mom and I have helped a lot of people heal after their relationships end. Grab my Heartbreak Haven bundle to start healing your nervous system today.