3 Steps to Make Going No Contact Easy (According to a Breakup Coach)
There’s a chance you’ve landed here because you’ve recently discovered that going no contact is not, in fact, easy.
Go figure.
But you know deep down that you kinda sorta gotta do it in order to keep your sanity.
Right?
As a conscious breakup coach, I’ve worked with many (and I mean MANY) clients who have been curious about the no contact rule and deciding whether or not it’s right for them.
And so today, I’m going to be addressing how to make it work for you and make it feel EASY.
Make going no contact with your ex actually feel aligned for you in 3 simple steps.
1.You need to actually decide
Believe it or not, what’s making things so hard to go no contact is a loose commitment to the process. Yes. Loose.
I see you over there feeling confident about committing and then 24-48 hours later you cave.
You might be saying you’ve deciding to go no contact, but in the background of your mind you’re likely also thinking “well, if they reach out then I’ll stop” or “I’ll do this until I feel I can’t anymore or get an epiphany.”
I totally get it. But guess what? That’s actually living in limbo, and it’s confusing you.
Right? Don’t. you feel a touch confused right now? I know the feeling well and have guided my clients along this path long enough to know that the limbo stage is actually so much tougher than a solid commitment.
And the best part about it is that once you make that commitment, you can align your energy to make decisions that best serve you in the process.
Which brings me to step #2.
2.You need to plan for the no contact period
99% of the time, all plans to stay committed to going no contact fly right out of the window within that 24-48 hour period mentioned above.
Why? Because you are lowkey winging it when that is not how success is built.
You can’t expect to stay committed to anything, let alone the no contact rule when the urge tot ext them hits real bad after watching a sappy movie or when you realize you don’t have plans tonight.
You need a plan in place for when you feel like you can’t put your phone down until you send a long-winded text.
You need to ask yourself:
What will I do if/when they text?
What will I do if I ruminate to the point that I can’t think straight to want to text them?
What will actually make me stay committed?
By the way, I address all of this and so much more in my Aligned No Contact Method latest program. See the full details here if you’re looking for that foolproof plan from a breakup coach and gal who truly gets what you’re going through.
Making a plan helps you keep your promise and makes it easy to stick to it.
And knowing who the f*ck you are also helps you keep your promise. Which brings us to step #3.
3.You need to respect yourself more than the fear of losing what no longer serves you
I can say with 99% certainty that you wouldn’t be curious about the no contact rule if you were in a divinely-guided, super healthy and conscious relationship. Right?
That would be really misaligned, and that just doesn’t sound right. You’re too conscious for that kind of curiosity.
You’re here because you’ve been really hurt along the way and it no longer feels right to keep hurting yourself by staying.
Maybe you wanted more than what they could give you. You settled for a situationship than a real relationship.
You gave 200% and they gave 50%.
You rationalized their behavior and made excuses for them instead of them owning their mistakes and short-comings.
Believe it or not, I’ve come to realize that it hurts less to let them go than it does to hurt while being with them.
Let me say that again: It hurts less to them go than it does to hurt while still being with them.
There’s a loneliness that is unmatched when you stay with someone who is not right for you, no matter how much you’ve rationalized it.
You’re ready to respect yourself more and say no to the 50% they’ve been giving.
You’re ready to reclaim your energy now.
You’d rather be single and alone than still in touch and lonely.
As someone who really understands the loneliness that is felt when you’re with the wrong person, I want to acknowledge you for reading this far and choosing to see that there could be something great on the other side of going no contact.
It can be easy when you’re aligning going no contact with your own self-respect and worth.
I tell my clients this when I want them to remember to stay committed: going no contact is an act of self-love.
It says that you’re not willing to settle anymore. You’re not willing to keep going when you’re not receiving what you need most.
It says you’re ready to close one door for a window to open.
And calibrate to a love that serves you better.
I talk A LOT about this in the Aligned No Contact Method. I also even give a 26-minute Don’t-text-Him Pep Talk for the moments where you’re close to forgetting about your own self-love and respect and want to text him (yes, I’ve thought of everything in this program to equip you with everything you need to make going no contact feel natural and aligned).
Going no contact CAN be easy, as long as:
You finally make a committed DECISION
You make a plan for the moments of “weakness”
And you respect yourself enough to say goodbye to what doesnt serve you.
Ready to go no contact? Get started HERE.
Hi, I’m Nancy!
A conscious breakup coach, wife, mom and I have helped a lot of people heal after their relationships end. Check out my ALIGNED NO CONTACT METHOD to start feeling like yourself again