As a breakup coach, people come to me to work through their various breakup needs; what they don’t realize is just how powerful this method is for helping them improve other areas of their lives.
Today, I’m using some of my coaching experience to describe 4 ways breakup coaching can help you in your life. There’s nothing I love better than versatility.
Improves your overall communication. One of the biggest benefits my clients experience in this process is a heightened awareness around their style of communication. Communication is a lot more than just “I’m direct when I speak,” it’s about being able to identify your feelings and needs in a way that will help both yourself and the other person you’re speaking with. One client of mine has been struggling to find out why his girlfriend doesn’t fully understand how he’s feeling even after repeated conversations together. After several sessions with me, he came to me at the beginning of our session last week and says, “You might be onto something; I think the way I think I’m communicating, may not actually be what I am truly thinking and feeling.” He—along with the rest of us—have experienced at some point this conundrum of, “why don’t they understand what I’m trying to say?” We often don’t realize our default style of communication isn’t all that effective. Another client of mine emailed me to tell me that our work together, specifically with communication, has helped him settle a 5-figure conflict at work.
Improves productivity at work. When you’re going through a breakup, it consumes you at work—you can’t hide (for long) at your desk hoping that to-do list will distract you from the haunting anxieties of your relationship or breakup. One of the fundamental beliefs I have is that we hold in our feelings because we think we don’t have a safe place to share. We also learn through chatting with our friends that there can be a tendency to feel worse when we express ourselves to our friends (with comments like, “you’re just really insecure!” or, “you’re just overthinking things!”), ultimately learning subconsciously that sharing is something not worth doing. With breakup coaching, people are free to feel and think what they honestly do—without judgment. With a safe space to share openly, people can return to work and feel more clarity because they don’t have to worry about bottling up their emotions.
Improves dating life. During my preliminary 90-minute session with a client, he asked, “does it make sense to hire you once I start dating again after my breakup?” and I responded with summer bodies are made in the winter. Today, we are on session 6 and he’s already understanding his past dating patterns, why he attracted the people he did, and has decided he’s feeling ready to put himself out there. With a heightened understanding of how he operates in dating, he’s creating a better chance at meeting someone who is right for him, in addition to working through his breakup. Ask me more about how we can work together to uncover your dating patterns.
Improves relationship with friends and family. I mentioned that innocent comments made by our friends and family can be sometimes damaging to us, and we end up shutting down as a result. Maybe we stop hanging out with a particular friend, or see our families less because of their “nagging” conversations. With breakup coaching, I help my clients to address some of those comments to help separate their experience from what my client is feeling/thinking. Once we go over some much needed perspective-taking, my client starts to learn that perceived negative comments were said based on their experience, and not my clients’.
These are just 4 ways breakup coaching can improve other areas of your life. If you’re working through your breakup, and are looking for more support, reach out to me here.