SEPTEMBER 2019 Breakup Coaching Q&A (In Under 140 Characters)


If you’re new to my blog, thank you SO much for stopping by. I’m grateful you’ve made time to learn more about yourself, and understand what happened during your breakup.

As part of a new segment, every month I’m going to be addressing your biggest breakup-related questions, and I’ll try and answer in less than 140 characters.

Be sure to submit your questions to

Alright, let’s jump in with this month’s biggest questions!

Q: My ex cheated on me and their reasoning was because I work too much and don’t pay enough attention. On some level, I do think that’s true. But I love [them] and am really hurt by this. Was it my fault?

A: No, they were feeling insecure and were operating in fear-mode. You didn’t make your partner do anything. They chose this out of fear that they had long before you came around.

Q: My ex called me a narcissist, and I kind of believe her. I mean, I’ve done a lot for her, but she said those things were only done to serve myself. Is this true?

A: Firstly, narcissists would never try to figure out if they were actually narcissists (that’s rule #1 in the narcissist handbook). Secondly, if you know you did loving things for her, but she couldn’t receive your love, that’s just her not being able to receive love.

Q: My friends think I’m obsessive for constantly searching for evidence as to why my ex cheated on me. I just want to prove them wrong. Why can’t they just let me do this?

A: This is totally normal, and part of the breakup healing process. You’re just putting the pieces together. My only suggestion is to make sure that you’re making time to find peace with what happened, instead of waiting for evidence to bring closure.

Q: I’m so overwhelmed by my thinking, and I can’t change my thoughts no matter how much I try. What can I do?

A: I have been in these shoes! The key isn’t to change your thoughts, but to change your relationship to your thinking. Your thinking is just energy passing through you and catching your attention. Try and look at it without judgment, and it will pass.

Thanks for tuning in!

Breakup Coach Nancy

Got questions for me? I’m working on October’s edition. Submit your question in the subject line or write a small blurb for me

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Nancy Deen